Newsletter July 2018
Happy Summer everyone. I hope that you are all enjoying time with friends and family. The slower pace of these warm months invite much needed rest, relaxation and connection. I am happy to say that I have finally reached the point of slowing down and enjoying, but, I must confess, it took longer than I had intended. After declaring June a month of willingness and commitment, I quickly discovered where I was unwilling to shift my perspective and got stuck in some old patterns of doing, doing, doing to make sure everything fit my vision of how it should turn out.
I ran myself ragged preparing for birthdays and trips and celebrations, to the point where it diminished my ability to be fully present when the events actually occurred. Though there certainly were moments of feeling present and connected, I did not create the experience I truly wanted with my children and husband — and I could see it happening before my eyes. It took me a couple of weeks watching myself create experiences I didn’t fully enjoy, knowing all along that I was more committed to checking event-related items off the list, than experiencing those events with ease and flow and presence. I watched myself in a state of unwillingness and wondered what the heck I was doing.
Even with the ability to watch myself in action, I still didn’t shift my perspective and do something else. I tried telling myself to chill and relax and not make such a big deal in my mind about certain details — all of which related to my image of myself as a mom and homemaker. Feeling unsatisfied, I decided to be true to my word and focus on willingness and commitment. I turned to my own words for direction and re-read an article I wrote in tandem with last months piece. In reviewing this companion article, 4 Ways To Be A Better Partner Every Day (That Will Improve Your Relationship Dramatically), I reminded myself of the importance of acknowledging and accepting my state of unwillingness before attempting to shift anything and chose a new course of action.
I realized I was judging myself for being stuck in pattern of behavior and could see how I was trying to force myself out of it. When I was aware of my motivation, which was coming from fear and judgment, I decided to loosen my grip on controlling the situation and just give myself a little love and acceptance for being stuck. I began to think, “There you go again Michelle – trying to be your version of supermom/happy homemaker/peaceful partner. It’s okay not to do it all right. It’s okay to do none of it right. It’s okay to be an exhausted, disorganized mess.” Quickly, I felt myself relax and my willingness to shift my perspective suddenly emerged.
I share this with you to encourage you to be easy with yourself when you are stuck and remind you that accepting where you are in any given moment (no matter how painful), is the key to shifting into willingness to change.
If you want even more guidelines for testing your willingness, sign up for a coaching session here. I will help you identify where you get stuck and show you how you can reliably shift.
Wishing you a fulfilling Summer.
With Gratitude,
Michelle
PS: If you are interested in creating a harmonious relationship or in shifting your relationship patterns, schedule a coaching call with me.
